A knight in shining armour and a damsel in distress,
But with his clichéd one-liner he just cannot impress.
He then moves to embrace her but he spills his pint instead,
Oh love’s young dream is shattered as the drink goes to his head.
Although she is no beauty she still tells him where to go,
Her mind is changed, though, soon as she cops on that he’s got dough!
When she gets keen, then he gets mean, and suddenly goes coy,
And leaves her on her tod while he goes drinking with the boys!
The boy next door is chatty but he doesn’t reveal much,
He makes out he’s real sensitive and needs your loving touch.
He’ll phone you without fail when you tell him not to ring,
But won’t return your phone calls, cause that’s not his kind of thing.
He’ll chase you like a dog on heat as long as you are cold,
But look in his direction and you’ll see it all unfold.
He’ll make out he’s real deep at first to whet your appetite,
It won’t take long, til you cop on, he’s only talking shite!
Some are too devoted, and some just won’t commit,
And others only want to paw and maul your fleshy bits.
He’ll take your cash and stash it in a comfy joint account,
But when it comes to marriage, then he suddenly wants out.
He’ll put on weight and lose his hair, and still think he’s real cool,
But when it comes to your lard ass, there is a different rule.
And after several years go by, the closeness makes him clammy,
But really, he’s pissed off, because you’re nothing like his mammy!
